GRAMMAR- LESSON#1- Requests

Requests: Will, Would, Could, Can, Would you mind…..?

* Will, would, could, and can are modals. Modals don’t have –s in the third person singular.

Notes to keep in mind:

This printable lesson compliments of www.EnglishinTaiwan.com
" The complete website for English teachers and students"

DISCUSSION - LESSON#1-HUMOR

Warm up questions

What is humor?

Do you have a sense of humor?

What types of humor can a person have?

Do you know a joke that you can tell the class?

Vocabulary for discussion

Fun                  Funny               Humor/Humorous            A sense of humor (dry, good, bad)      

Joke                 Tell a joke     Dirty Joke                 Get it? /Don’t get it            Punch line      

A pun               Riddle              comedian/comedy            hilarious           A one liner

What type of jokes are these?

• If a laughs, does milk come out of its’ nose?  

• I went for a walk last night and my wife asked me how long I’d been gone? I said “ the whole time”.

• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

• When cheese gets its’ picture taken what does it say?

• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown to?

• Why is a man who invests all your money called a broker?

• If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

• When someone asks you, a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in,       what happens to the other penny?

• What is the speed of sound?……………OK, then what is the speed of dark?

• If a pig loses it voice, is it disgruntled?

• Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t hey be wearing nightgowns?

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?

• “ I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “ I do” is the longest sentence?

• Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

• Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there.

• Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?……….He wanted to see the butterfly.

• What is black and white and red all over?………A newspaper.

• When a man talks dirty to a woman it is sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it is NT 80 per minute.

• If it’s tourist season why can’t we shoot them?

• What do you call a cow with no legs?……...Ground beef.

• What do you call a man with no legs and arms laying by your door?…….Mat

• What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall?…..Art.

• A young woman, pregnant with twins, went into labor while her husband was out of town. Her brother had been visiting and offered to go to the hospital with her. Now, her brother had always been the clown of the family, but this wasn’t the time to be picky. The woman had some problems so she had to be put under for surgery. After she awoke, the doctor told her she had two beautiful babies: a girl and a boy, and that her brother had already named the babies. Knowing that her brother was always joking she was a little worried and asked what he had named the babies? The doctor replied: he named the little girl Denise”. “Well that’s a pretty name” smiled the relieved mother. “And what did he name my son?” The doctor smiled and said ”DaNephew.”

• At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunken guy asking what time the bar opens? “ It opens at noon,” answers the clerk.      About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open” he asks.    “ Same time as before…noon” replies the clerk.    Another hour passes and he calls again really drunk, “ Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?” The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t wait, I can have room service send some wine up to you.”    “ No…. I don’t wanna git in…..I wanna git OUT!”

This printable lesson compliments of www.EnglishinTaiwan.com
" The complete website for English teachers and students"

ROLE PLAYS - LESSON#1

Role Play situations are always a fun way to get your students talking more in class. Of course this lesson plan is more suitable for students that already at a reasonable English level. Assign one of the situations below to the proper number of students and give them 10 minutes to prepare their conversation. Then have the group of students come to the front of the class and play out the situation.

1. "A" and "B" are roommates and share the same apartment. "A" always uses things that belong to "B" without asking.

2. "A" answers an ad for the job as a waiter or waitress at a tea house. "B" interviews the applicant "A".

3. "A" is renting an apartment. "B" lives downstairs and is always playing music too loud. "A" meets "B" in the elevator.

4. "A" a boy and "B" a girl want to get married. "A" brings "B" home to meet her parents, "C" and "D". The parents question "A" and "B" about getting married.

5. "A" wants to borrow money from "B", but "B" doesn't want to lend any money to "A".

6. "A" a boy goes on a blind date. When he meets his date "B", a girl, "A" decides he doesn't like her, but "B" likes "A". "A" tries to make excuses to leave and "B" tries to get him to stay.

7. "A" and "B" both work in the same office. "A" is always talking and telling jokes and never gets any work done. "B" is a hard worker but can't get any work done because "A" is always disturbing "B".

8. "A" and "B" are roommates and share the same apartment. "A" is very messy and "B" is very clean.

9. "A" a girl, is at a party. "B" a boy, is also at the party and very interested in "A". "B" wants "A" phone number. "A" is not interested in "B" and doesn't want to give him her phone number.

10. "A", the brother and "B", the sister are watching TV. "A" wants to watch sports and "B" wants to watch the news.

This printable lesson compliments of www.EnglishinTaiwan.com
" The complete website for English teachers and students"

FIND SOMEONE WHO……………………………..

RULES                       A. Ask someone the question.

                                    B. If the answer is YES, get more information ( 5 W’s)

                                    C. If the answer is NO, ask another person.

                                    D. Record the name of the person and the additional information.

1……wears contact lenses _________________________________________________

2……can ride a horse _____________________________________________________________

3……has traveled to more than 3 countries _____________________________________________

4……can play a musical instrument ___________________________________________________

5……wants to try Bunjee jumping _____________________________________________________

6……has gone whitewater rafting _____________________________________________________

7……can cook a traditional Chinese meal _______________________________________________

8……likes to dance ________________________________________________________________

9……likes classical music  ___________________________________________________________

10…..does regular exercise____________________________________________________

11…..can speak more than three language  ________________________________________________

12…..is a vegetarian ________________________________________________________________

13…..hates to get unwanted advice ____________________________________________________

14…..enjoys ethnic restaurant  _________________________________________________

15…..can give first aid ______________________________________________________________

16…..can dive from a diving board  _____________________________________________________

17…..loves the outdoors _____________________________________________________________

HAVE FUN!

This printable lesson compliments of www.EnglishinTaiwan.com
" The complete website for English teachers and students"